Here Not There: Finding Our Way Back to Presence, Connection, & Delight

In this tender and deeply nuanced conversation, host Colleen sits down with licensed counselor and trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook to tackle one of the church's most silenced topics: healthy sexuality after abuse, trauma, and coercive control. Tabitha, author of Body & Soul: Healed and Whole, shares how a divine nudge at a women's retreat launched her into teaching — and ultimately writing — about sexuality from a place of rich theology, grace, and compassion.
The conversation moves through several layers:
The distortion: Tabitha traces how evangelical purity culture and a pornified Christian culture have reduced sex to duty, performance, and consumption — stripping it of mutuality, delight, and the image-bearing partnership God intended. She challenges the narrative that men need sex to survive and women exist to serve, calling it a "nightmare" far from biblical truth.
The path back: For those whose arousal templates have been warped by trauma or pornography, Tabitha offers a roadmap: notice the harm, disentangle distorted patterns, say goodbye to what's destructive, and learn to experience pleasure differently — sometimes with therapeutic help, sometimes through self-exploration she addresses with refreshing honesty and theological nuance.
The goodness of sex: With humor and warmth, Tabitha makes the case that God designed sex for mutual delight, not mere procreation. Consent is an "enthusiastic yes," not obligation. Intimacy is vastly bigger than intercourse. And couples who do the hard work of honest communication report marriages that strengthen and come alive in ways they never imagined.
The power of play: In the episode's most joyful section, Tabitha argues that play is essential to healing. She shows how reclaiming childlike delight opens space for God to restore what trauma broke — both in life and in the bedroom, where spouses can become true "playmates."
This episode gives language to the voiceless, hope to the wounded, and an invitation toward healing and wholeness.

In this deeply moving conversation, Wendy — a certified grief educator trained under David Kessler and the late Dr. H. Norman Wright — joins host Colleen to unpack what grief actually is, why it's so often misunderstood, and why "time heals" is only half true. They explore the difference between intuitive and practical grievers, why grief bursts can resurface decades later, how to tell grief apart from depression, and why sitting with uncomfortable feelings — rather than fixing them — is the real path forward.
Wendy also shares tender, practical ways to honor loss: planting flowers each year for lost loved ones, building rituals around remembrance, and the "Box of Comfort and Hope" she sends to people navigating their darkest seasons. 
This episode is a gentle, honest companion for anyone who has been told to "get over it" and knows, deep down, that healing isn't linear. It's not about finding closure — it's about learning to carry loss forward, touch the pain, take a break, and keep moving, one small step at a time.
If you've ever wondered whether it's normal to still grieve someone forty years later, or wanted permission to grieve in your own way — intuitive, practical, or somewhere in between — this conversation offers both comfort and clarity on the long, winding road back to presence, connection, and delight.

What if your exhausted faith is not a spiritual failure at all, but a nervous system issue? Colleen sits down with Janyne McConnaughey, PhD to unpack the counterintuitive idea at the heart of An Exhausted Faith: What If the Struggle Isn't Spiritual - and why so many believers are trying to pray, worship, and "try harder" their way through trauma without realizing their bodies are the ones sounding the alarm. Janyne shares the lived experience behind her work on trauma, religious trauma, and nervous system regulation, including how years of white-knuckled faith, fear-based teaching, and chronic disconnection from her body left her feeling depleted in places she thought were supposed to feel holy. Colleen brings her own perspective as a reader, writer, and fellow seeker, turning the conversation into a deeply honest exploration of what happens when spiritual practices stop feeling life-giving and start feeling like pressure.You'll discover:
why "exhausted faith" can look like devotion on the outside and collapse on the inside
how trauma can reshape prayer, worship, and even your sense of God's presence
the difference between a spiritual problem and a physical or trauma-based one
why small moments of rest, breath, and body awareness can become acts of healing
how fear-based theology can keep people stuck in shame instead of moving toward peace
Janyne also explains why she believes faith has to be embodied - not just believed in the head - and why some people never access the dramatic emotional moments others describe, simply because their systems have learned that big feelings are unsafe. Instead of offering quick fixes, this conversation invites you to slow down, get curious, and consider whether what you've been calling "weak faith" may actually be an overwhelmed body asking for care.If you've ever felt tired in your soul, disconnected from God, or trapped in a cycle of spiritual striving, this episode offers a different way forward. Essential listening for anyone who suspects there has to be more to faith than exhaustion.

Tabitha Westbrook interviews your host, therapist, and author Colleen Ramser about her new book, The Shattered Soul. Colleen shares practical, somatic tools for healing from spiritual abuse and trauma, and she explains concepts like titration, parts work, and spiritual enmeshment, and emphasizes gentle, paced recovery over forcing faith practices.
Colleen offers compassionate guidance for grief, differentiation, and rebuilding trust in faith and community, inviting listeners to find small glimmers of hope and sustainable steps toward restoration.

On this episode, Colleen interviews Chuck DeGroat about his new book coming this fall, Who You're Becoming: The Slow and Courageous Work of Cultivating Character in a Narcissistic Age. They explore how character is formed and transformed in a narcissistic age, why awareness alone isn’t enough, and how nervous-system regulation, presence, elders, and community create the conditions for deep change.
Chuck shares practical insights for anyone longing for more integrity and connection, and invites hopeful imagination and patient, slow work as the path to lasting growth.

Colleen shares a bonus episode announcing her book, The Shattered Soul: Restoring Wholeness and Rebuilding Your Faith After Spiritual Trauma, releasing July 21. She invites listeners to join the launch team (link below) to receive an early digital copy (with proof of pre-order), access weekly Zoom calls, and join a private Facebook group with bonus content.
Launch team members are asked to read the book by July 21, leave a review, and share it once on social media or with their community.
FORM LINK: https://forms.gle/AWtRMVR2UNog3vPv6

Host Colleen Ramser uncovers the practical beauty of Dallas Willard’s spiritual formation in this captivating conversation with Keas Keasler. Keas Keasler, an expert in spiritual formation and author of Kingdom Apprenticeship: Dallas Willard's Formational Theology and Missional Vision, bridges the gap between academic theology and the pew. Drawing from seven years of deep research, Keas reveals how Willard’s approach isn’t just about abstract ideas—it’s about real change, real life, and real transformation in ordinary moments. You'll learn the nuanced relationship between divine grace and human effort, the role of habits and character in exercising authority and power, and how daily decisions shape your spiritual life.
Keas Keasler is an associate professor of spiritual theology at Friends University, known for his work bridging Dallas Willard’s formational theology with missional living and spiritual disciplines, offering fresh insights into Christian character and leadership.

In this episode Colleen interviews Elyse Fitzpatrick about her decades-long journey from a strict complementarian context to a place of conviction, peace, and flourishing. Elyse explains how careful study of Scripture, honest conversations, and difficult choices led her to step out of a system that silenced her gifts and into a church where she can preach, teach, and serve freely.
The conversation addresses recent public statements about women’s roles in the church, the personal cost of leaving entrenched systems, and the deep joy and presence Elyse now experiences. It’s an encouraging, candid look at faithfulness, vocation, and finding delight in serving Jesus authentically.

Colleen interviews Travis West about reclaiming Sabbath as a practice and a posture that creates space for rest, connection, and delight. They explore what Sabbath really means (not just a list of restrictions), how it helps us return to presence, and practical ways to make Sabbath work amid busy family and work schedules.Travis shares metaphors for time, tools like threshold rituals and micro-Sabbaths, and the balance of courageous attention with joyful distraction to heal from grief and prevent escapism.

Colleen shares a short, vulnerable reflection after technical problems derailed a planned episode, revealing how small setbacks can stir old narratives of failure.
Drawing on John 21, she invites listeners to try again, trust God’s abundance, and find presence, connection, and delight despite mistakes.